free to be

Dreaming of missions




I can't begin explain what goes on in my heart--Kyle says I'm easily swayed from one day to the next. If I'm being honest, there's no denying it--one day I want a baby, the next I want to travel; one day I want to save every penny and the next I'm ready to put the down payment down on our home. But, one thing I know for sure, I have this gigantic dream to go overseas and to spend time in an orphanage. The older I get the more intense the dream becomes. For as long as I can remember I have dreamed of medical missions-and my heart has been set on Africa. Naturally, most people with whom I share this want to know, "why Africa?" And the thing is, I'm not really sure why. Is that strange? There are orphanages everywhere and children too many to count in need of love and attention, so why a land that is foreign to me in every way? But, then, why nursing...why Tennessee...why does my heart delight in anything? Where does any passion come from? I dream of missions; I don't know all the reasons why but I know what happens to my heart once I'm in those settings. In some ways, I become broken. In other ways, broken parts begin to heal. In all things, I see God and His grace. I see Him in the poor, in the sick, in the widows and the orphans. I see the human condition in some of it's purest forms: inexplicable strength, joy, sorrow, hope. I see life, with all it's worldly distractions sifted away. To live in that place for a day or a month changes everything. To go where nothing is familiar or comfortable is when God is wild and big but always good.
I don't know when but I do hope to get there someday. And maybe only then will I truly begin to grasp why my heart beats for the people of that far away place.

I realize this doesn't fit with the 'African' theme but recently the CMDA went back to Ecuador (where Kyle went last year). Carolina, the girl who stole my husband's heart was still at the orphanage and sent a friend of ours home with letters and drawings to share with us. We thought we'd post her picture below: she's holding the bear we sent to her.