free to be

"I've learned it's worth it to have the fight. The 'throw your arms up in the air, cry if you must', sort of fight. The hardest times over the past 5 years have come when we've tried to pretend it all away. Sometimes the best way to love each other is to go where it's crazy, painful and chaotic--knowing that when we do, it always gets us to a better place than when we first started."

Last night over dinner we bantered back and forth about what we've learned over the past 5 years of marital bliss. Some of our present realities are: I still can't cook-it's looking like I never will. In the mornings, I look like some wild unkempt version of the woman he thought he was going to see each day. My version of clean and his version of clean are two completely different things. (We'll let you come to your own conclusions about that.) Sometimes, I "lose control" when I find something amusing--occasionally this aggravates my husband which only fuels my outofcontroledness. I love yoga--the last time I tried to talk him into a yoga position he got stuck. He loves hiking the Appalachian Trail and all things outdoors. I prefer a fuzzy blanket and a good movie.

There's freedom in marriage. Freedom to own every bit of who you are and to celebrate every detail of the other. Can't dance? Shut the blinds and crank the music and dance like you've never danced before. Can't sing? Turn up the tunes and sing like a rock star. Can't cook? :) Pull out the cookbooks and try to make the most amazingly delicious meal in there. Body composition not what it used to be? A little wobbly around the edges? Right then. I think you see where this is going. We love each other as much for what we lack, as for what we are. It's safe to do the ridiculous in the presence of each other.

I've never been one to deal with conflict and neither has Kyle. But, we've learned by default along the way, that every now and then, there's nothing more cathartic or healing than a good fight. :) It keeps us honest, it keeps us moving forward and it allows us to love each other's quirks for what they are. So, here's to the next 5: may we love hard, fight hard, trust each other with the ridiculous and always extend grace knowing that there is far too much at risk when we do not.