wonderfulpainfulhectic life
Today I talked with a good friend. It had been months since we were able to have a real phone conversation. Sure, we had sent the occasional email update which kept us formally in touch with the major events in each other’s lives but today we actually got to connect.
Here’s the difficult thing about distance and catching up with old friends: No matter how much you love them, if there’s been a substantial amount of time since your last real conversation, it’s almost always awkward at first. It takes a while to get a rhythm flowing-and many times, in our impatience for the awkwardness to go away, we hang up before we get to that place...the place where talk becomes real instead of rehearsed; the place where painful, wonderful, hectic life is shared for what it really is.
So, today our phone conversation began with ‘how have you been?’ and just as I’ve done a hundred times before, I updated my friend on life as I know it. She followed suit. We both talked rapidly, skipping along the surface and soon we were both fully updated & exhausted with the events of each other's past couple months. Just as we were about to wrap it all up for, quite possibly, another few months something wonderful happened. Our conversation dove to a different level and our hearts were exposed. I’m not sure what it was exactly. I don’t believe there was any particular question that drove us deeper, maybe we just needed to warm up and get comfortable with each other again. That’s one of the wonderful the things about good friends-especially those with which you share a great history-it’s always worth it to hang on until the conversation takes wings of it’s own. We evolve in our own corners of the world, so much so, that it almost becomes a bit frightening when old friends reunite. It’s almost as if we allow time and change to persuade us into believing the connection's been lost.
Today, I talked with a good friend. I can imagine life within the walls of her home and I see the depth and beauty of who she is and who she’s becoming in this big, busy world. She challenged me to believe; there was understanding in the silent pauses; and comfort in knowing the 'painfulwonderfulhectic' details of each other’s lives. As we poured ourselves out and into each other we were, of course, filled up. As I hung up the telephone I could barely remember the chatter we subjected each other to from the first 30 minutes of our conversation. To think, we nearly settled for that.
So here’s to good friends; to picking up the phone every once in a while; and to suffering through the awkward updates that must take place as old friends reunite. Here's to never settling for one dimensional, far from satisfying, relationship with each other. Here's to that familiar place good friends crave in conversation with each other, where real life is exposed & life itself feels better and brighter simply because it's shared.
Published by megan on Saturday, March 11, 2006
at
12:55 AM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Thanks for your thoughts. I identify with them. Sometimes it is easier not even to call people or try to catch up and just remember your relationship as it used to be... than to make the effort to reconnect with them. In fact, Meggan and I almost called you the other day, but I had similar thoughts. We wanted to tell you guys that we're expecting a baby. We thought you'd be excited... So yeah...we're expecting a baby. Cool huh? We'd love to stay better connected with you... How's life? (not awkward...) :)
We love you guys...and we'll be praying for a healthy pregnancy and baby! Thanks for sharing the exciting news! Be well! Megs
You, my friend, mean the world to us and yes, next time I'll fight Kyle for a little-or a lot-of talk time! I KNOW you have stories to tell!!! :) I saw the pics you recently sent-you look great and also, very happy. That does my heart good. We sure do miss you around here. But, oh the memories!!!
Love you!
It is amazing how you feel like you know all of the incredible qualities of a good friend, and then they blow you away once again...I never knew you were so gifted at writing. Your thoughts were so true. We just drift along in life and forget the importance of being real with eachother, I want you to be real with me, and I want to be real with you. I long for to know more people who are willing to be authentic...and not be afraid. You inspire me. I love you.
It's so good to hear your thoughts and your words, but I wish I was seeing your face as you said them! I miss you so much and REALLY need to come up there for a weekend to get away from the craziness of life here. I think the reason I love you so much no matter how much time or distance there is between us is that you're not afraid to be authentic and it's so easy to really share life with you. I love you girl (and Kyle too!)
Congrats Kevin!! It was great seeing you at Catalyst, even it was for 30 seconds.
Love,
Sara Curtis
In all seriousness, I was really begining to wonder how we would keep in touch...(hehe)
Putse, I did enjoy your comments. Very well written...introspective...Prego paisan...
I can always count on you to keep me grounded and entertained.
do your best to be strong until the next post. I know the waiting is difficult. :)
thanks sweet girl. you're part of my heart. i'm praying and I sure do love you. Happy birthday!!!!!! Wish we were there to celebrate! Cheers!