Blended.

That’s right; we are officially blended.

So the big reception/party at the house was a hit. Dad had a huge white tent put up; we set up a volleyball net, had logs burning full force in the fire pit; and plenty of other outdoor activities for the kids or the young at heart. He also had a beer cart dropped off with two port-a-potties which I honestly believed was a joke until they were literally dropped off out back. Rhonda’s family brought their campers and crashed out at the house after all was said and done Saturday night. Loads of people came in and out-so many faces I haven’t seen in forever.

The weather was gorgeous—it felt like a perfect fall day.

Ever since the plane landed, everything’s felt good; celebratory; peaceful. But then yesterday, the day after the big party, I felt…I don’t know, like I was fighting constantly to hold back tears.

I love this new extension of our family. I like that the house if full of activity & life & laughter. I like that dad is teaching little ones to hunt and fish and that he’s cheering them on from the sidelines at their games. I can deal with fake cockroaches on my pillows and in my sheets—and with new brothers who like to try and flick fly heads on me. (I have a fly head smeared on my pant leg as I type, from one battle lost). I enjoy getting to know all of Rhonda’s extended family. I genuinely love these new people who are now a part of us.

So why the tears?

Growing pains, maybe?
Probably, and I suspect I’m not the first to feel this way.
A couple of the kids had major meltdowns during the party—which was probably the kid version of what I’m feeling/experiencing. They physically let it all out while I struggle to find the right words to find the same sort of release.
Everything just feels so different and while we are in a good place, occasionally I get those sad pangs. Bedrooms that sheltered us as we grew and tested our wings, are now responsible for growing new kids up. Traditions are different. Expectations are changing. New stories are unfolding within the confines of these walls—and while I once felt like a main character, I’m now more of an observer. That feels strange. And though I would not change one thing, elements of even the best and happiest new changes tend to carry with them, a twinge of sad.

But then we get together at the table for one of those meals where kids say the craziest things or we have a movie all cuddled up in lumps downstairs and I know the world is as it should be. Growing pains are temporary.
It’s good to be us, blended together.
Me, with my fly guts. ;)

2 Comments:

  1. Anonymous said...
    Megan,
    as a kid with divorced parents I can completely understand how you feel. It's hard to let go of the familiar and accpet change. I'm just happy that you seem to like your new blended family and get along well with them and I'm sure they adore you... who wouldn't right!
    Nicole
    megan said...
    Nicole,
    thanks for that sweet girl. I needed that.
    hope to see you soon! I miss you guys!

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