free to be

Kyle and I are heading out of town tomorrow morning--an unexpected trip!--but I wanted to post a few pics of the home we looked at today. I'm sure you're used to us by now--you've endured this before but we are really loving this home. Not exactly in the location we originally had in mind; not exactly the number of bedrooms we hoped for; but everything else is beyond our hopes/expectations. This is mostly for our family who are too far away to do the walk through with us.

**a word about the builder--AMAZING guy who looks about our age. He's incredibly talented and has literally built this home from the ground up. His heart is in every detail. He is disabled so the floor plan is usually open and spacious.

front of the home: the view faces west--sunset is rockin


the back...the home is on one acre--very wooded lot


living room


Kitchen...(dishwasher never been used)


Master bedroom


as if I wasn't already sold, this bad boy is in the master bath.

Rediscovering you.



After church today, kyle and I decided to drive to Roan Mtn. As we were on our way, we realized it was the weekend of their annual festival--which just so happens to be where we went and what we did on our very first date, 7 years ago!!

The past few months, in the world of the Long's, have been an adventure all unto their own. In more ways than I could ever express, we are truly in a place right now where we are rediscovering each other.

It's no secret that Kyle and I are wired in completely different ways. We express ourselves differently; we process things differently; we learn and abide and grow in different ways. Because of that, it hasn't always been easy to understand each other. Over time, as what often happens with those with whom we are in close or familiar relationship with, we often neglected to pursue; to ask questions; & to seek understanding of each other.

Recently, fueled by some activities at church (like the strengths finder survey, etc) we have sort of accidentally stumbled into this new awareness of each other and it continues to surprise and amuse us, almost on a daily basis. It's been this God given breath of life into our home and into our marriage. I can't explain it completely, but I'm starting to get him. I know, I know. Theoretically, I should have 'gotten him' a long time ago. I guess it's that "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" syndrome. These days, I'm beginning to truly feel how his heart beats and it makes the love and respect I have for him grow. Somehow, I think he's beginning to get me too. How do I know? Because I feel understood--and it's the most validating feeling in the world.

The other day I was sitting downstairs at the table all alone, TV off, not doing anything. He came around the corner-laughed and said..."party going on up there?!"
Yep.
Just like usual--only now the secrets out.

Today before our trek up the mountain, I realized that once again, for one more month, we are not pregnant. When my eyes welled up with tears and I lost my words, he got it. He put his hand on top of mine and said all the right things. And suddenly, I didn't feel so alone.

It ended up thundering and lightening shortly after we got to the mountain. We went down only a few little trails, took some pics and some stock footage for Kyle's video production, and then high tailed it back to the car. On our way home, the rain came hard and fierce--like sheets pounding the windshield. Inside, with the IPOD pumping out music and Kyle putting up with me singing loudly and poorly, I felt unusually full, undeservedly blessed.

This is belated...but happy birthday to two of my most favorite people in the entire world. Gina and Jason--I miss you both waaaay more then I could ever say.
Love you both.

ps. Gina--those photos were hilarious and beautiful!! I'm so glad you have your sister back. Did she LOVE Argentina?!? Wish I was there celebrating with you!


Gina and Karen



Jason and Justine

"fairies and butterflies; church and the beer tent"

Yesterday I had a makeover. I laid on my belly surrounded by barbies and let a 5 year old scrutinize my skin and nails. She decided a manicure was a must. On one hand she carefully selected the color of each nail. My pinky would be purple, my ring finger hot pink...then a swirl of blue-green-orange...etc. The next hand was a project unto it's own. When the last splash of color was brushed onto my final finger, I found the courage to look down. A rainbow manicure would have been something, but the entire top third of all of my fingers were a siren of colors. There's no staying in the lines when you're 5.

Next, was make up. Body glitter was the order of the day. She glammed up my arms and put sparkly lipstick on my lips. I was sure one look at me and Kyle wouldn't be able to restrain himself. Once our makeup was complete (we had to match) we went downstairs for our tea party. I'm pretty sure I've never had a tea party before so I had to rely on her for instructions. First, I was to go to the pantry and pull out 4 marshmallow peeps (2 for her, 2 for me). Then we microwaved them to get them all soft and huge. Sitting at our little pink table we had our party and she giggled the entire time. With full bellies we adjourned from the tea party and made our way to living room and a mountain of barbies.

I've never really been good at the barbie scene. I didn't have many barbies of my own as a child because the only thing I knew to do with them was their hair, and it didn't take long for that to get boring. But this particular afternoon, we were creating a story as we went along...I followed Joci's lead. At one point, she lifted up her barbie and said in a loud, booming voice, "Attention all fairies and butterflies..."

It was then, with that one simple statement that I realized how blessed I was to be there, on the floor with my 'come get me' make up and my glow in the dark hands. I was transported to a world of make believe--and it had been a long time since I'd peered at anything with the eyes of a child. This is a little girl who believes she's a princess when she puts on her princess dress and crown; who delights in tea parties and colors outside the lines. So beautiful!!!

When I came home looking a bit hooker-ish, it was hard for Kyle to believe anything that profound came out of our time together. Kyle and I went to a fancy place for dinner (by way of a gift card) and I sparkled, literally, over candlelight.

Switching to a completely unrelated topic, this morning I was on the phone with mom. We were talking about a relative with the nickname "sug"--like sugar. (His last name is Cane...seriously, my family is not right. His daughter goes by "candy"--no joke). Anyway, mom was telling me about a recent fall that he had. The story went something like:

"Well, it was Memorial day and they had an event outdoors at the church. It was really hot outside so Sug stayed in the beer tent."

I'm sorry. Did she just say 'beer tent'?
at church?

The story did not end there, in fact it was just getting started. She was already on to describing his fall, (which allegedly did NOT happen from one too many) but as she continued talking, I was still back in the beer tent, kicking it with Sug. There was a time in my life when that would have seemed normal to me, too, but let me just tell you, I fear those days are long gone. Church functions in this part of the world simply do not have beer tents on the front lawn.

hmmm...Jim, John, I think I just found my talent!! ;)

This past week I got to co-lead my first youth group experience. Everyone laughs at me when I say this but I'm telling you, I was ner.vous. I had visions of really bored girls, with really blank stares-nodding off and drooling. Me, in the circle, droning on and on...and on. Completely out of touch. Misery.

I'm not sure if you remember what it was like to be 14, but I most certainly do. I remember adult's saying "these are the best years of your life" which, just for the record, is exactly how not to validate your teenager. :) (and no, my parents never said such crazy things) Looking back now, there are certain freedoms of my teenage years that I appreciate but the truth is, those were the hardest years of my life. Someday I hope to articulate that so much better but for now that's all I know to say. I felt like I had two lives and I was good at living them both. I know I was a bit of a paradox to those under my roof and I'm sure I perplexed those who wanted to get inside my head.

As a teen, who didn't read her bible and knew very little in the way of Scripture, youth group was the first place I ever heard that whisper "He loves you". Over the years, it became a constant, recurring theme. There were moments when those words seemed to get inside my heart: camp, Campus Life trips, etc. For a few minutes, a night or a week, I would really, truly believe it. He loves me. How desperately I wanted it to be true. I loved that youth group was fun, safe, and full of activity. I loved that my best friends were there and that we made some significant lifelong memories. It wasn't long before we became student leaders. I was passionate about the people in our group; I talked the talk; and I wanted to believe it but I'm not sure I ever really let those words be true.

So now I'm 28. My moments of experiencing God are becoming a bit more frequent but in so many ways, I still feel like that student leader. The cry of my heart-almost on a daily basis is to spend time with Him but I don't always know how to get there. Hungry-that's how I feel. Sometimes I open up my bible and flip through sections of it-barely letting my eyes focus on the text; not knowing where to start or what to read. Sometimes it's just a bunch of words that feel as if they were written for anyone other than me; a different time; a different place. And then there are my moments. The times when those very same words get inside my heart. The times when every hidden piece of me feels like it's sprinkled through the pages. The times when I know it to the depth of my being...He loves me. I want nothing more then to be captivated by Him. But thus far, in this life, for whatever reason, I am still fueled by moments--this is not the place I abide in on a daily basis. Sometimes I feel like I'll always be that girl who never truly gets there--as much as I want it to be true. A good friend asked me last night "do you think it's possible to experience Him like that here (in the flesh)?" And my answer is yes. I do believe that; I can't imagine Him creating us to live any other way.

So Weds. night I was nervous. Not so much because I worry about what our girls think about me but because I remember what a tender age this is for them. I remember that things are not always what they seem and I want them to believe they are loved with a love that redeems. I want more for them then moments. I wonder how God can use someone like me to help young women grow when I still feel so very young and foolish in the ways of Him. I wonder if it's to their detriment that I'm still hungering...still longing...still seeking much in the way that I did over a decade ago?

Well the good news for my first study was that it was a very small, intimate group and it felt a bit like family as we sat and chatted. There was laughter folks and no drooling insofar as I could tell. ;) My pastors daughter, who's 7 (?), sat with us and she participated probably more then anyone else. I'm thinking if things don't work out for me, she'd be a perfect replacement. :)

Oliver is sick.

Yes, for those of you who know me at all, you know what this means. This stresses me out waaay beyond what is normal. It started out as allergies. Harmless enough right? Wrong. He can't breathe and he walks around the house gasping, sneezing, and struggling. Oh yeah, and let's not forget to mention the diarrhea that he's left for us to find around the house. The gag reflex comes on hard and strong for me-which a new thing for this nurse. Our first vet appt was two weeks ago when they put him on steriods. Didn't help. This past week he had chest x-rays...and now takes steroids, bronchodilators, an antibiotic and an antihistamine. Kyle said "don't tell me we're going to have one of those dogs"...as if we didn't already fall into that category before illness struck. ;)
Poor little guy.

Kyle got to take a ride in a friend's helicopter yesterday. Yeah, work is tough...I managed to steal a photo and I know he'll post more on his blog if you want to see more. He was super excited.
Loving work, as usual!


And then, last week we went to Cinema on the Lake. Every Thursday night in June they play a movie by the lake at dusk. We had never been to it before and last week we met up with some friends to take in the show. I was exhausted so I don't think I appreciated it for all that it was but it's definitely one of those happy summer things that people/families do together that becomes a lasting memory. Good stuff.



I could write loads more but Kyle is itching to get on here so I'll close for now. Take care sweet friends!

Living your strengths.

Kyle came home one day recently and handed me a book given to him by Jim. I flipped it over a time or two trying to size it up. Being a lover of books, especially of those that claim to get inside your head, I decided to give it a go and opened up to the first page:

This is what I read:
The Gallup Organizations's 2002 national study of congregation memebers revealed that most people (53%) do not strongly agree with the statement:
"In my congregation, I regularly have the opportunity to do what I do best".

Page one and already, that one simple statement stopped me.
"in my congregation, I regularly have the opportunity to do...

Growing up, at least in my early years, there was always the small handful of do-ers...and then there was the rest of us. ;) Church was a quiet, passive place. A place to sit and to stand and to pray with your eyes closed. People didn't know my name much less care what skills or gifts I might have. And honestly, I was good with that. Personally, I didn't care much about the woman beside me either. It wouldn't have even occured to me that I should be doing something. At confession I told my sins to the priest behind a screen so that he wouldn't have to look into my dirty, sinful eyes. :) I definitely got the vibe early on that there was nothing 'megan' brought to the table in a religious or spiritual sense.
My place was on the pew.
eyes closed.
Fortunately these things changed as I grew a bit older and started to attend a different church but nonetheless, it is a reality for many.

The second part of the statment: how does what I do best apply to my "congregation"?

What does that mean exactly? I guess I define 'what I do' by my chosen career and I feel nearly 110% certain that my congregation doesn't want me sending them off to meet Jesus every weekend. (Don't read too much into that...yes, they all want to be with Him and walk the streets of gold but, let's be serious) I'd have no friends at all. The problem? I'm not even sure I know how to answer, when asked 'what is it you do best?'

I do know that I don't sing, don't teach, I'm not great with organizing events--or at least I wouldn't know for sure because I haven't ever tried. The truth is, for as much introspection as I've done I'm still a little perplexed when it comes to applying the things that make me, me, to the benefit of a church body or community. I have a good handle on my weaknesses. The things I wish I could be, do, or say.
Which, according to this book is how most everyone operates. You might agree.

So I read the first chapter and took the strengths finder tests. I was surprised. And just the fact that I was surprised, surprised me. I thumbed through the book and read about a few other strengths (the ones that I didn't get) and found myself getting jealous. Again, seeing my weaknesses in what might be another's strengths, wishing I was something 'other than' instead of me.
What is that?!

Today, after church there was a little lump of us who were standing together talking about this book and the test. It was fascinating to listen to each person talk about what their strengths were. There was a buzz; an energy to the conversation and I walked away feeling excited about all that is to come. The wind is blowing; could it be possible for each of us to truly do what we each do best? The next few chapters of this book are application; what I wonder, will that look like?

Obviously we don't take these tests to give ourselves a self righteous pat on the back. No one is interested in knowing one's strengths or skills just for the sake of knowing. Rather, the purpose of any of this--the book, the test, the conversation is to propel us out into the world, to serve others and to honor Christ with our lives and our ministry. What you do best, is different from me. And for once, I might be okay with that. ;)

This past Saturday, Kyle and I took some wedding pictures for our good friend, Kari. She used to be Kyle's running buddy & friend at Milligan-but she's grown to be a close friend of both of ours over the past 5 years. She was married at her parent's home and it looked to me, like something out of Southern Living magazine. Very intimate and unbelievably beautiful. Her parent's home rests at the top of a hill, surrounded by mountains. Kyle took some awesome pictures but I'm afraid I'm only able to post some of mine--maybe his will come later. :)


















Sunday we hooked up with Luke and some friends to play out on Boone lake. I laughed all afternoon long-about everything and nothing. We likely blinded people with our pasty white bodies, and it's a miracle we all made it back to land fully intact. good times.

Today was a leisurely, lazy day. We fired up the grill for dinner tonight and I couldn't help but miss my family. We've been blessed with a lot of amazing friends in this part of the world, but these are the days that feel like they are just meant to be shared with family. There's just this little lingering ache in my heart, brought on by the smells of the grill and the sunshine.

Tomorrow is a big day for us. Tomorrow, we officially put on our big people panties/boxers and step into the grown up world of child rearing. I have literally grown up surrounded by kids, I love kids, I've wanted to be a mom since I said "I do" and yet, tonight, I confess, nervous energy is beginning to pulse through my veins. I'm sure I'll have plenty to blog about once our week is through.
Rebecca, you are my "person to contact in case of emergency" person. ;)
No pressure.

Hope all is well for those of you far away.

A few highlights from the weekend.

Em's baby shower: Kelli and I threw Em a shower on Saturday morning. It was another georgeous day so we got to spend some time outdoors and Emily looks amazing with 6 weeks left to go. She's due on mom's birthday so I've suggested she name her baby girl, Kitty. For some reason she's not commiting to that right now. ;)






Saturday night Kyle and I went out to eat and then we picked up a movie. Since the weather is unbelievable Kyle wanted to watch the movie outside, on the deck. Soooo, we piled up the blankets, lit some candles and camped out on the deck to watch the movie. I do wonder what our neighbors think about us. We know we're dorks. We're okay with that. Next time I think we'll have to invite them. We had fun and as long as I've lived here, I've never admired the stars from this corner of Copper Hill.



Sunday-off to church and then over to a couple's home for lunch. Kyle and I are going to be babysitting/house sitting for them at the end of May so we wanted to meet the kiddos and get a feel for their home. This is the first time Gary and Stacy are getting away for a week since moving here. Kyle said to me this afternoon, "don't you think it's crazy that this is the first time they're getting to go on vacation and they're trusting their kids with us ?". Nice. Nothing like being confident going into this. ;)

And then this afternoon we also finally got to go to an open house for a home we've been obsessing about. From the street, we both are in total agreement that we love it...love the style, the colors, the neighborhood, the trees, everything. The inside though, needs a LOT of work. It's 1980's to the core and honestly, there's not a room that doesn't need work. Structurally, the home is sound but...we'll see. Jim played the role of dad for us today by being so kind as to come and crawl in crawl spaces and check out the wood siding/roof, etc. So Jim, if you should read this, thank you. It may not seem like much to you but you have no idea how much that meant to us. We are most grateful for our TN family. :)

With the window cracked a couple of inches, just enough to let the breeze sweep across my face, I weaved in and out of the mountain roads. Sandra McCracken and I were singing a duet loud and carefree in the car. The sunshine was warm on my face and I was relishing the fact that I get to enjoy these things while 'on the clock'.

I turned down a dusty, country road and took a quick peek at my directions. I was getting close. I saw the silver mailbox 'with the door that hangs open' and turned into a narrow gravel drive. Directly ahead of me, stood an old, white house. I looked again at my directions and felt a flutter in my stomach. The home looked as if it should be vacant. I slowed the car and put it in park. Three young kids were already out of the house and running wildly, like excited kids do, towards my car. As I turned the engine off, one little girl was already peering in my driver's side window and two other faces peered intently at me from the other side. Their little expectant faces were covered in dirt.

I got out and was immediately surrounded. They examined everything in my trunk and asked a hundred questions. They were excited and ran to the house yelling ‘the nurse is here!’ I stepped through an open door and smiled my best smile as my eyes slowly focused to the dim light. This old, tired, wilting home was nothing more than a frame. There was nothing of substance to fill it. The home was barren. The floors covered with dirt. The kid’s appeared well nourished but there was nothing in the home I could see to eat, except for a couple of bags of potatoes. They offered me what they had. I wondered if I would be so generous if the tables were turned.

The kids were happy. They talked about growing up to be nurses and doctors and the little boy dreamed out loud about growing up to be a bull rider. As I wrote my note they circled around me and tried to make sense of my scribbles. They touched my hair and played with my badge. It wasn’t unlike my experience in Africa; in fact so much about this visit took me back to that place. One of the little girls gave me a hug, and then the little boy rested his head on my side. They were hungry.

I'll never be able to articulate how it feels to stand in these homes. I'll never be able to describe how these hour long visits change our lives. Because they do--they change everything. In that home today, I was surrounded by laughter and curiousity and love, and yet I was a smile away from my tears. Not because I pitied them-which is what initially stirred within me when I pulled up to the home but because they possess treasures I do not. They were beautiful, this family hidden away in the mountains with little more than a roof as their shelter.

I drove away, my car bouncing and kicking up gravel along the driveway, with three little faces singing goodbye in my rearview mirror. Hope, personified: more beautiful then the sunshine; more refreshing then the breeze.

Happy Birthday Marcia and Ava!!
We love you guys!!



Ava, one year later.

“Give us the grace to
admit we are ragamuffins,
to embrace our brokenness,
to celebrate Your mercy when
we are at our weakest, to
rely on Your mercy no
matter what we may do.
Dear Jesus, gift us to
stop grandstanding and
trying to get attention,
to do the truth quietly
and without display, to let
the dishonesties in our
lives fade away, to accept
our limitations, to cling to
the gospel of grace, and
to delight in Your love.”
~ Ragamuffin Gospel

Ragamuffin, I am. The quote above has been my prayer for a couple of months now. I guess I'm hoping if I say it enough it will begin to sink in. :) Oh, to live quietly and without display. To cling to grace and to delight in His love. Such is the place I pray grace will take me to.

Full.

that's how life has been lately and this is exactly how my heart feels as I sit and type. Our days are full, our weeks fly by, but there's a quality to living lately that seems to make everything brighter. I'm learning to appreciate the fullness of the people in our lives. I'm learning, contrary to what I've believed to be true, that this type of fullness does not make one weary; it enriches and satisfies.

Today I met a woman from church for coffee. I've never had a heart to heart with her alone before and it was surprising at how easy it was to be with her. It completely made my entire day. And so it's been lately with the people around me: adults and children; people I've brushed shoulders with but never really slowed down enough to know. Women of all ages, hopes and ambitions. Their energy is contagious.

I write with a grateful heart. I know who I am, what I deserve. And yet the sun shines, flowers grace the porch, we enjoy a meal by candlelight, under a canopy of trees. I am surrounded by people who bring depth and beauty into this world. His hands and feet. Ragamuffins.

Our weekend was the best because we got to see this little face for 4 whole days!! If only we could get a dose of her more often!
Jim, Lori, and Riley came to visit this past weekend and it was sooo good to spend some time with them. We grilled out, went biking on the greenbelt, rocked out to the veggie-tales (something I thought I'd never see my brother in law do!!) and ate until the point of nausea on more than one occasion. Oliver did way better with Riley then I ever hoped. He was all packed and ready to be shipped off to camp but he suprised us! No traumatic humping episodes like last time (although I dare say he considered it a time or two). Our little guy is growing up. haha.

Once upon a time, Jim and Lori didn't think they would have kids. And now we have Riley which is the best thing that ever could have happened. She's so funny with her independent personality-vocabulary of a 5 year old-and a disposition that allows us to drag her anywhere. We talked a lot about who she gets what traits from...& so far they don't have to do any finger pointing. Not yet anyway.

Being around her all weekend caused kyle & I to wonder a bit about what personalities our kids might have should we ever have any of our own. Thanks to my brother, we already have visuals of how mutant-like they could look. :) We're convinced we'll have little monsters-especially in light of how amazingly good Riley is.
From my gene pool alone we have the following things floating around, just waiting to crop up in our off-spring.

the X factor:
We all know a certain woman in my life wears animal print and leather. She paints her nails hot pink, and has a collection of shirts that carry sayings on them which forces parents of small children to divert their kids' attention and to shield their eyes. She loves drama, uses the phrase "it's all about me" and vacations with cruises and trips to Vegas. There's occasional snorting with laughter. She blasts country music so loud it gets her into trouble with the golf association. She has a ring on every finger and they clink when she talks in her animated way.

the Y factor:
My dad likes to mount animals on the walls where the pictures of Chris and I used to be. We're not just talking birds either...oh no, there's deer, bear, & mountain lion. Interior design may not be his forte but he makes a mean fish soup (yes, if that just made you gag--welcome to the club). We have more pictures of him and his brothers in camo then in any other atire. He has this disease where he absolutely cannot simultaneously watch TV and carry on a conversation over the phone-on in person. He 'vacations' to the woods or on the lake, or up in a tree stand. He IS Wisconsin...all things that represent that frozen state are among dad's favorite things.

chris and I: It's been said that we bribed our cousins into jumping out of tree houses and barns when we were little. We both drove illegally (only one of us was smart enough not to get caught). We picked, and fought and screamed at each other all the time swearing hatred but inwardly loving every minute of it. One of us threatened to call social services to report emotional abuse for having to take piano lessons--which clearly, is abusive on many levels. One of us also wrote a letter begging our parents to trade the sibling in for his/her best friend.

So there you have it. That's what I bring to the table. :) Look out baby Longs!
Funny thing is, it's all good. The animal prints, the camo, the attempts to bribe our parents into getting a new and improved sibling. We like it just the way it is. Always something to talk about...

Riley will likely always be the golden child.

(more pics from the weekend to come).

taking a bath




Cracking herself up.

Celebrating Life Cancer Free!



I've mentioned that I work with some amazing ladies (and gents). :) Well, to offer proof I thought I would enclose some pics from today. Jackie carries many titles, some of the most important being wife, mother, daughter, friend. However, it's also worth mentioning that she, too, is a hospice nurse & cancer survivor. She oriented me when I came on staff and I saw very quickly how much our patients loved her. They welcomed her into their homes' like family; she'd love, kiss and joke around with them like she was nothing less. Jackie was diagnosed with breast cancer when her boys were very little but in spite the fear, the chemo treatments, and the sickness, she continued...to hope, believe, pray and live one day at a time. With a bald head, and a smile, she'd do her visits. I may be slightly biased but, truly, isn't she amazing?

5 Years ago, to date, Jackie received her diagnosis. To celebrate how far she's come, & the sheer gift and blessing of life, she decided to donate the hair from her first cut in 5 years by giving it to locks of love. We gathered together today at Design Studio to cheer her on.


Jared does the honors and makes the first cut! (sorry it's blurry-I came in just as he was about to do it so I fumbled around to get the shot...and you can tell!)


Locks of Love donation


The full celebrity treatment from Sam


Hot mama flip flops to go with hot mama hair!


Jared gives her a kiss


Sam, the stylist, and Jake and Jared


Love you, Jackie! You're amazing, my friend!
Cheers! ;)

Sissy and I : Celebration of Life

So, I've been out of the loop for a while! My goodness, have things been busy!! I know I'm disconnected when I get phone calls checking to see if we're still breathing...or, just as amusing, threatening our lives if we don't call back. The latter approach has proved to bring about the quickest turn around time. :)

Let's see...updates. Home improvement projects have been kicking our butts. We have found lots of little things to update before tackling the big stuff--like landscaping the side of the house. It never fails that the seemingly simple, undaunting tasks turn into gigantic headaches when all is said and done. Nonetheless, it feels good to walk around and see some progress.

Last night we had our annual Celebration of Life. It's such an amazing night. Not only do we get to see families of patients that we miss but I also always find myself looking at the people I work with, feeling completely grateful for who they are. We are soooo different; seriously, in every possible way we are different. There is not one person in our team who is like the other and our differences amuse and entertain us constantly. We laughed a lot last night--the kind of laughter that stops all other conversation in a room while people turn to see what's so funny. The kind of laughter that makes people lose their fake lashes. Sooo funny. It was good to laugh; to celebrate; and to have genuine peace with the families of those patients who have passed away. Dont get me wrong, we did the ugly cry a time or two also, but as I drove home I was full of this happy sort of peace. Sissy and I were volunteered by our cohorts to get up and talk for a few minutes during the service. As is typical Meg's, I was full of nerves but thankfully, they quickly passed as I looked out into the faces in the room. It really felt like family. I told a couple of stories: one about our youngest patient from this past year and one about one of our oldest. On my left arm, I wore a bracelet made for me by the little girl. Her parents were sitting almost directly in front of the podium and it was so good to be able to look them in the eyes and tell them what a ministry they had in their home. Strongest, most amazing parents I have ever known. And that little girl? She is riding a horse in heaven, I'm certain. That's exactly where she told us she would be.

A few photos attached of my hospice ladies.

giving patty a little love


Marlene and Connie

Kyle has the coolest job ever.

Guess who else might be headed to Africa?
I know I just got back. I know I shouldn't be jealous. But while some of us have to fill out applications, search the internet for possible opportunities, and pay lots of money to go, kyle gets these amazingly incredible opportunities that seem to fall straight from heaven.

He'll know much more at the end of the week but if you have a minute, check out this video that tells a bit about who he'd be working with: horizon video. The website for this agency is www.horizoninternationalinc.com

There's so much going on in our hearts since my trip so I can't even put into words how exciting just the mere possibility of all this is!

We'll let you know what happens!

It's the day before Easter and the weather here is crazy. As I was leaving the house this morning, the driveway was covered with white patches of snow and deep purple patches of flower blossoms from our trees. Our irises that were just about to bloom appear to have bitten the dust. Not my fault this time!! We even kicked back with a fire in the fireplace this afternoon.

Tonight we had dinner at Jim and Karen's. I'm beginning to know my way around their kitchen and they don't mind if we 'make ourselves at home'. At any given moment throughout our evening together there were kids running through the house-shrieking with laughter in pursuit of the new puppy or cat; a fire crackling; music serenading; coffee brewing; a dog barking; & adults conversing around the kitchen table. the makings of family. Tonight as we were getting to know a new couple for the first time, we all asked lots of questions to one another. I could listen to people's story's all night long. Especially these people. We laughed a lot and I learned a great deal about where each person comes from. Sometimes I wish I could not say a word; only listen. Do you ever feel like your story will bore people to tears? :) I feel that way sometimes. (and no, I do not need anyone's encouragement--I know we all have our stories...blah, blah, blah...but you've felt this way, too, at some point-I'm sure!) Tonight? Tonight, when conversation began to grow roots, I had this overwhelming and perplexing feeling that I was going to cry. Right there at the table, seemingly, for no reason! I almost couldn't talk--and I was not about to tear up around new people for fear that I'd acquire some sort of 'unstable' label from this day on. :) It was all I could do to answer a few questions-and distractions, like a barking dog or inquisitive children were a relief. It gave me a few seconds to re-group. Even when we got in the car and were driving home, the lump was still in my throat. Hormones? Fatigue? Or fear? I could probably make a case for all three but I think tonight I felt what happens when walls come down, chip by chip.

"Today is Friday, but Sunday's coming." We've been quoting that a lot in our office this past week. It's a phrase dripping with hope and truth. One Friday, the only one in history that truly matters, Christ hung on a cross and the weight of his death must have hung, so thick and oppressive in the air. But Friday had to be everything that it was, so that Sunday would come as promised.

With new life & fresh hope for those who believe.
happy easter sweet friends and family!

Happy Birthday Grandma!



just a little update.

It feels like summer in this part of the world: All the trees are blossoming (including the mean poison ivy that grabbed me by the ankle and plagued me for a couple weeks) & the birds have resumed their place on our bird feeders. We've been outside tonight pulling weeds with the hope of doing some serious landscaping in a week or two. I always miss our neighbor Rachel this time of year; I wonder if she'd be happy to see us outside in her garden or mortified at what it's become, despite our best efforts.

Kyle is loving his work. He's been consistently busy with all kinds of different projects. I'm thankful. For many things, but mostly for who he is, for where we've been and where we are today. He also does a mean rendition of the song 'unwritten'-which wows me into...hmmm, shall we say, awe? every time. :)

We are, once again, house hunting. Brace yourselves, I think this time, it's for real. :) I was all set to settle in to our little home for a couple more years but after lots of discussion, we are checking out what's on the market. We want to get our house ready with updates and landscaping over the next 2-3 months and then, we'll see what happens. It's exciting! Lots of dreaming and planning...I like to live "in my head" so I LOVE running around and looking at homes. One thing we've realized as we've driven around, is that we are finally completely on the same page!! I know. AMAZING.

Work for me, continues to be my heart. It was a sad week last week-we've lost a lot of patients recently who meant a lot to us. They brought in a counselor one night last week just to have a debriefing session with our team. It was nice to hear my co-workers thoughts. No longer is turn over a big problem; no longer are there any significant conflicts. I feel like we've really grown as a team...and it's satisfying to go through work with a group of people I respect so much.

Church is becoming a more real, significant part of our lives. (I know I talk about my faith and church and God a lot and if I'm redundant, I apologize. But I'm afraid I can't promise to stop because there's bound to be more, it's such a reflection of where we are right now.) I wish I could articulate what I see/feel happening in and around me but I'm still mulling it all over. On Sunday, John mentioned that this summer we will be encouraged to really dig deep into the lives of people in our community. My stomach flutters even as I type. I want so desperately to be challenged in that way. Sure, I could go there on my own; but the truth is, I haven't.
It's time.

And so there you have it.
Our life in a few paragraphs.
We hope all is well on your end!

Last week I read by way of email, those dreaded words, “she found a lump”. I filed the words away because some things just can’t be true. My brother informed me that last Friday was the date of the lumpectomy, including a biopsy of her lymph nodes. Again, I couldn’t bring myself to call. No news is good news, right?

Growing up Chris and I, became permanent extensions of this family. We spent our weekdays, holidays, vacations, and sick days under her roof. She had 4 kids of her own-all older than us. They were my idols growing up…I permed my hair to look like theirs, I did my bangs big and stiff just like theirs…I memorized lyrics to the songs they loved. It was fun to be with them-and somehow they always seemed to make room for us.

She delighted in us: in all of her ‘kids’. She’s the kind of person who cries at commercials; or at a simple homemade card. She’s a person who always put herself last-and never complains. Laughter always comes easy. She makes a big deal out of seemingly little achievements. I remember, at 14 years old, standing at the top of her stairs after I found out my grandma died. I had that shell shocked sort of look-even though it was anything but a surprise. My grandma was my best friend but I wanted so badly to appear okay. That day, she did all kinds of little things to make me feel special. She knew what I needed when my heart was sad. Sick days? Throwing up? Strep Throat? All of those illnesses were remedied in part, on her couch.

Today, I bit the bullet and picked up the phone. I knew it would be okay-it had to be. And much to my relief, the news was good: the cancer is not in her lymph nodes and the surgery removed the mass, whole. She’s about to start radiation and hormone therapy but I have a feeling she’ll walk through it with the same grace she’s known for.

It had been a long time since we talked; too long when it comes to someone who means so much. And when I hung up the phone I realized there was so much I didn’t say. So this is for you, Nancy-for your heart, your strength, your tenderness and your courage.
We love you!!

..."building His kingdom with earth's broken things".

Did you know a squirrel can run 26 miles per hour? Me neither, until church this morning. We learn all kinds of glorious truth at Redeemer. :) Jim began his message this morning by saying "God has given you unique gifts that make you, you. When you do not show up, we miss you."

we miss you?

It's been a long time since I've believed that to be true when it comes to corporate worship. But this morning, sitting as one part of the whole, I could tell that he was serious; he meant what he said. He didn't look away-instead he locked eyes with some of us as if to say, it's true. I looked around the room, at many individual faces, and was struck by the fact that I knew some significant pieces of the stories represented by each person present. I could identify a gift of nearly each person my eyes rested upon. I know these things about each person not by my own merit but because we have been encouraged by those leading us to ask questions of each other, to listen, to show up. As a result, each person matters not just to our body, but to me.
We need each other. It's true.

I get scared sometimes in this new body. I don't know why. I'm praying we'll become that city on the hill. Sparkles of light all over our town and world as we launch each other out. I pray that the people who come to fill the seats in our gathering place will reflect the same people Christ ministered to while he walked among us. He's building His kingdom with earth's broken things.

So it's true that the squirrel can run 26 miles per hour. And that a chameleon's
tongue is twice the length of it's body. It's also true that I was challenged and blessed by the message today, and by those who used their gifts to lead us in worship songs, I was blessed by the art that was created during the message, and by the hugs of a sweet little girl. And that's just the beginning.



For by the grace given to me I say to every one of you: do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift in prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. Romans 12: 3-8